fever rush!!!

i was supposed to start this new blog last friday... you see, i had a day off (hurray!!!) and that seldom really happens, you know? the night before friday i was so psyched to start a fresh new blog... that'll hopefully be filled with happy happenings that i'd hopefully get from day to day... (full of hope ain't i?) anyways... i was so looking forward to friday but... what happened kinda depressed me... i woke up with an aching head, a really sore throat and my body just wouldn't allow me to get up... in other words... fever... and i don't even know where that came from!

i got scared... really scared... i'm kinda fever-phobic ever since i got the dengue a bit more than a year ago. i was a senior college student then and i had it right at the perfect timing... right during finals! i missed my major project defense (good for two subjects), at least 3 final oral exams... (i can't remember how many exactly) so there! the funny thing was... a few days before i got dengue, my best bud came down sick with typhoid! (well i really didn't think that was funny at that time, just weird... i mean why would the two of us come down sick at almost the same time? good thing we weren't groupmates in the project... else, i don't know what the group could have done with almost half of them in the hospital...) anyways... it was just funny since we have never been really sick in our entire college life... just this once... during finals...

how i felt during this time? terrible pain in the head... literally... i just can't get up... not even for five minutes... i had to make myself sleep... so i wouldn't feel it... so i wouldn't feel the hammering pain in my head... and it got me really scared... scared of dying... back then i've been too engrossed in my studies that i wasn't able to bond much with my mom... my atchie... i know i've bonded enough with my chie-chie while she was still here but i wanna see her first... i regret not spending more time with my family...

and what about my friends? i'll miss them... i've become so preoccupied by that project that i hardly had time for them... i haven't really been texting much...

i prayed a lot... all those times i forced myself to sleep... i prayed... at first i joked around with Him... i tried to just laugh it out asking Him if this is His way to make me stay put since i've been all so busy... i thanked Him... for the rest He wanted me to have... and yet at some point in my stay in that hospital (that i sort of hated since it took them a loooooong time to figure out what i had... the doctor kept on insisting it was malaria... i mean duh?) at some point in my stay there i asked him... is my time up already? i felt so much pain that sometimes i was just so ready to give up... there came a time when my blood count had to be checked several times a day and it became more and more painful day by day... my platelets reached a critical level and even my mom can't keep herself from crying in front of me...

that got me so scared... the fact that i might have to undergo blood transfusion just showed me how weak i was... that life can just slip out of me any moment...

and well... in reality... life can just slip out of any one of us at any moment... not necessarily out of a mosquito bite... but it could... with a blink of an eye...

well i'm okay now... but once again reminded of how blessed i am to have life... that i share with the most special people in my heart... and i'm just so glad to have all of you... *hugs* 0=)