Einstein's Article on L-O-V-E

The following is a really nice article I’ve read a few years back (and was again reminded of as I read the Charol’s blog). It contains things that are, as you can say in a Tagalog cliché: madaling sabihin, pero mahirap gawin. Truly, these are things that one can readily agree with but acting in a way that will show that you actually believe these things entails hard work (and if I may say so, a big God)… Sometimes you even have to experience loving and losing in order to realize the truth behind what this article suggests.

I have lots of thoughts regarding this article… =) Was in a very reflective mode after nearly losing my life last “Black Saturday” (will write about this next time probably =) ) so my mind just kept on whirling as I discussed this article with some of my friends and so, I’d like to share these thoughts with you as well. Now, here’s the article, then my other thoughts on the matter follows. Hope you learn as much from the article as I did =)

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves. You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself.

Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean you failed in love. Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you.

And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime. There are two ways to live your life: One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive. No past so bitter that love cannot accept and no love so little that we cannot start all over with.

My take \(^O~)/

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.

There are times when loving turns into "obsession" in that our primary goal becomes pleasing that one person we love. We devote a lot of time to that special someone, even to the point of ignoring the other people who love us… and even worse… to the point of neglecting ourselves. This is not to say that we should look for other people who would admire/love us in the way our special someone would. Simply put, we should also recognize that there are other people (besides our special someone) who love us… and may love us even more! These “others” could be our family, friends, relatives and most importantly our God (who loves us with an immeasurably greater love).

Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.

Indeed, loving is more than just a matter of the mind (as it is a decision), and neither is it also just a matter of the heart (as it brings forth emotions)… Loving is a matter of both the mind and the heart, and a matter of the will as well. Loving includes the whole person’s being. Words of love then should be backed up by actions, and not just a multitude of flowery words… that could turn out to be an empty fabrication of the mind.

I don’t agree with the second part of this statement however, i.e,: you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more. It seems, to me, selfish to “love” a person just because he first loved you. My belief on the matter is that God will make a way such that if the person you are with is the one He has created for you, then it won’t be a matter of who loves who more because you’ll see that He gave you just enough love to give each other =) If I were to revise this part, I’d say: you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves God more. I believe that a person who loves God truly is more able to love another person as he loves himself =)

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.

I remember myself telling a couple of friends to knock me in the head if ever they learn that I’m tying a leash to my special someone (in the future). We should love far enough such that we don’t hold on too tight. We should not demand time/efforts that are not supposed to be intended for us because we could never own our special someone… we can never own anyone. Doing so might make our special someone feel strangled and this might also hinder his/her personal growth physically, emotionally and spiritually.

But at the same time we should still love him/her close enough so that he/she would still feel the love we have for him/her. For what is the point of loving if the other person won’t feel the love we have for him/her?

A friend of mine actually had a nice illustration for this. He said loving is like planting trees. Seeds of love shouldn’t be planted too close for that will make the trees of love struggle for its own survival… they should be planted at the right distance so that it will grow the right way and be nurtured properly.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.

Letting go… is never easy. And if you really loved a person sincerely, I believe it would be difficult to just stop loving the instant you’ve let him/her go. Letting go can actually become a better proof of authentic love in that you choose to lose the person who made you become a better person so that he/she would become even a better person himself/herself.

Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

True love is that which doesn’t expect anything in return… You get rid of all expectations… expectations, which, when unmet, cause you all that “bitterness, hatred, anger,” and pain.

We should, however, still guard our heart such that we don’t hope too much and give too much of our heart away… contrary to the popular saying, I don’t believe that “love is blind”. Truly loving is being aware of all the imperfections of the beloved and yet still being able to accept those realities, with the goal of gently bettering the beloved. In loving, we should be aware of all the realities, both the possibilities and the unlikeliness of what could happen, of what we would like to happen. Sometimes we love too much that our beloved becomes our source of strength, hope and joy… even through the distance that we have between us. We should never depend on a single person for our own happiness because people are merely humans who have their own limitations… that even though they would want to be there for you so much, there are moments when time or certain circumstances don’t permit them to.

--- to be continued soon… well, hopefully --- =)